Carrot Fries

Holy delicious, Batman. We have stumbled upon the cheapest, tastiest, fastest snack or side dish you have ever put in your face.

Carrot fries.

Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

What You Will Need

  • 1 oven
  • Carrots (the long kind, not baby carrots — I used like 6 or 7)
  • A carrot peeler or some other method of getting the yuck off of the outside of your carrots
  • A knife
  • A cookie sheet
  • Olive oil
  • Salt and pepper

Step 1:  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Step 2: Wash and peel your carrots. If you do not know how to peel carrots, look here.

Step 3: Cut each carrot in half horizontally (so you have two slightly less long pieces of carrot), then length-wise until you have four to six (depending on the width of your carrot) thinnish carrot slivers. Arrange these so they’re scattered and somewhat flat on your cookie sheet.

Step 4: Drizzle carroty bits with olive oil, then add some salt and pepper and shake ’em around until all of your slivers are nice and coated. Pop them into the oven.

Step 5: Cook for 15-20 minutes, or until your carrot fries are crispy-but-not-burnt. Check on them every few minutes, they cook very fast and are easy to burn.

Step 6: Remove your delicious carrot fries from the oven, salt and pepper a bit more to taste, and enjoy the frick out of them.

So good.

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Biscuits and Gravy

I was raised in a place that would like to consider itself a country town, among relatives and classmates that would like to consider themselves rather country, by a mum that was raised on a farm.

Naturally, many of my favourite things have a bit of a country flavour to them.

One of the best things she ever made for breakfast was sausage gravy, served over hot buttermilk biscuits. This is a really easy meal to accomplish and doesn’t take very long either. (Consider sipping some veggie juice while things simmer and bake!)

Some advice for beginners: read the entirety of every recipe you are attempting before beginning. For all you know you could be baking the biscuits while you make the gravy (hint) or you only have two eggs, and while that’s enough for component one, component two also calls for two eggs… you get the picture.


For the gravy:

  • 1 tube of ground sausage (I recommend Bob Evan’s zesty-hot sausage, it comes in a red tube like this) – ~$3.50/tube
  • milk (fat content is totally up to you) – ~$2.00/gallon
  • 3-4 tbsp corn starch – ~$5/container (will last you for. ever.)
  • some water – free!

Yeah. That’s it.

Step 1: Brown the sausage in a big frying pan. Make sure it gets crumbled, but not too crumbled. You want to go for medium-sized chunks, between the sizes of dimes and pennies.

Step 2: Turn your burner down to medium heat and slowly pour milk into the pan, just until it covers the sausage

  • The milk will probably begin to turn orange due to the grease in the sausage. Do not panic.
  • Be -very- careful and watch your pan closely from here on out. It is far too easy to burn milk and ruin the world.
  • Now would be a super good time to check on your biscuits if you’re already baking them, or put them in if you forgot.

Step 3: Spoon your corn starch into a small bowl and add just enough water so that it’s loose when you stir it

  • Corn starch is weird stuff, for those who don’t know. It’s like a liquid, but it’s a solid if you try to make it move faster than it wants to. It’s used as a thickening agent, in this case to turn your sausage concoction from weird soup to tasty gravy

Step 4: Slowly stir the wet corn starch into your milky sausage pan. It will seem like nothing is happening, but what ever you do, do not add more corn starch (like I did the first time I tried it) because it will turn into a gritty glue-like substance that no one will ever want to eat and you will have to add more milk and pray that no one notices that it’s blander than it should be. Just be patient and keep stirring occasionally, and do not let the heat get too high.

  • You might want to check on your biscuits again if you forgot about them.

Step 5: It will eventually turn into gravy. Taste it, directly out of your stirring spoon if you like (because it’s your damn kitchen) and when it meets your specifications, pour it over the biscuits that have been baking throughout this entire process and are now cooling peacefully on the counter.

This should serve approximately four very hungry grown men, so if you are cooking for yourself I recommend only using half or even a quarter of the tube (and only 1-2 tbsp corn starch in that event) and packaging the rest up tight, OR making the whole batch and living off of the leftovers until they’re gone.

For the biscuits:

  • 1 tube or packet of biscuits or biscuit mix

Step 1: Follow the directions on the package. Most of these only take 10-15 minutes to bake and almost 0 prep time.

  • If you want to bake your own, I recommend looking up a recipe online.

To those of you down-home country mamas that are about to scold me for my biscuit recipe– bite me. We are on a time crunch and/or budget and/or lazy. Also I only post recipes I’ve tried, and I have never made homemade biscuits.

Keep checking back for more recipes, and if you like what you’re reading make sure to like/comment/subscribe/share!


Veggie Juice!

I know what you’re thinking.

Actually, no, I have no idea what you’re thinking. But I know that veggie juice sounds “ew”, or expensive, or out of reach, or just isn’t exactly cooking.

You’re wrong. I mean, I guess it might be “ew” to you if you juice things that don’t taste good to you, but it’s really not that expensive to do (I can afford it!) and it’s really good for you. I kind of wish I had stuck to drinking veggie juice once or twice a day like I started to a few months ago, and I plan to go back to it. I was feeling great, I had a ton of energy, I was dropping some pounds, and I stopped craving the fast food that I learned cooking to avoid in the first place.

My juicer isn’t the greatest, but it functions. It was $30 at Meijer and is pretty easy to clean.

I usually have a glass at breakfast and one before class. Other people I know like to have a glass after their workout. The point is, this stuff is quick, gives you all the nutrients you could ask for, avoids the pesky chewing involved with eating your veggies, and fills you up just enough to keep you from making non-delicious food choices you’ll regret later.

There are tonnes of other blogs and articles and stuff about all of the magical benefits of juicing and how to do it and all of that. But that’s not my mission here. My mission is to tell you how to make a delicious, quick, easy, and cheap beverage that is tasty and will make you feel good.

So, due to their cheapness and general deliciousness, I usually juice:
1/2 cucumber (rinsed but unpeeled) – ~$1/cucumber
4-5 balled leafy greens (can be kale, mustard greens, or any other leafy things you find in that part of the produce aisle) – ~$.89/bundle
a handful of balled parsley and/or cilantro – ~$.49/bundle
3-4 celery stalks – ~$3/bundle

That’s a big glass of veggie juice for ~$1.60, you can make one every day for a week and, if you purchased in reasonable quantities, it’ll all be gone before your produce ever goes bad, just in time to go grocery shopping again.

If you want something that tastes like something other than green, try adding things like:
1 carrot (washed/peeled) – ~$3/bunch
1/2 apple (washed/cored) – ~$.50/apple
1 beet (washed, unpeeled) – ~$2/bunch

You can add other fruits, roots, leafy bits, or anything that fits your palette/budget. Experiment. Report back with your findings, and check back soon for some actual cooking-type recipes 🙂

I’m broke, but I like delicious food…

…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I have lived on ramen and microwave burritos before. I have lived on the Dollar Menu and have the thighs to prove it.

Then one day someone told me that I could eat delicious food without tapping into my getting-to-work-and-school gas fund. And get this– most of it even has some nutritional value!

So, I decided to start a blog for other people who have sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru wondering why they raised the price of soft tacos again. People who have made ambitious grocery lists with the best of intentions, gotten to the grocery store, and just filled their cart with the noodle equivalent of cardboard out of anxiety and/or general laziness.

Cooking tasty food doesn’t have to be stressful, and doesn’t have to take a lot of time or ingredients or specialized knowledge. I had to figure all of this out on my own, so here’s hoping that this blog helps someone, somewhere figure it all out.

First, put these things on your next grocery list. They’re what we call staples, and are either necessary for almost everything I know how to make, or have a long shelf life and come in quantities large enough to last you for some time.

sugar (granulated and brown)
canned tomato sauce
canned tomato paste

The other thing you need in order to make delicious food is spices. They vary in price depending on where you buy them, but many grocery stores (especially ones with “value” in the name!) sell them for around $1.00 each. I recommend at least having the following, though more spices means more flavours you can choose from!

black pepper (the regular stuff, used in shakers everywhere)
garlic powder (not salt!)
onion powder
Lawry’s seasoning salt

I will probably come back and add to these lists as I think of things, but these should be enough to get you started!

Thanks for reading, and come back soon for recipes and cooking tips and random anecdotes that have nothing to do with anything we’re trying to accomplish here!